Twelve years of celibacy so far and I find that higher emotional discipline is a good thing. I believe if you can properly manage your emotional impulses, you can gain greater control over how and what you think. Celibacy does not necessarily improve you in every way but it can lead to more mental space in which to think undistracted by persistent indulgent thoughts. Likewise, being celibate for longer periods may increase the chances that you will be more aware of your own thinking. Ever increasing awareness may set the stage for taking the right action to improve the way you think and what you think about. Part of that is taking in other factors when making choices besides just what you feel. Not always, but the likelihood of attaining such a disposition is greatly increased.
To Temper Passion
I was always highly creative but that creativity bred a small amount of impulsivity in some cases and needed to be tempered. Much of the work I have done in the sciences and technology went far to cultivate greater intellectual structure. Driving towards a modest amount of asceticism, planned or involuntary, has been instrumental to the overall aim. After some time, I am better adept at balancing instinct with reason. A wider range of values are more within my scope of thinking. Indeed, there has been a higher sensitivity to spiritual concepts and introspection that has grown since the time I faithfully adopted a celibate disposition.
Desire Does Not Die
As it concerns natural feelings, I will always appreciate naturally beautiful, emotionally and intellectually well-rounded women. I maintain a natural attraction to certain women still but I feel well to have the ability to speak evenly in terms of conversation. I can choose if or to what extent I would emphasize what I feel should any deeper feelings exist. The result is that more of my thinking becomes channeled towards matters of process and truth. Rarely do I now find myself captive for moments without end to those concepts of great emotional intrigue. Focus and discipline are now at greater and often more immediate recall.
Sharing A Life as a Choice
Over the years I have wondered about a close partner. As the years pass, those thoughts begin to sharply fade away. Such a person would have to mirror myself in general. As I continue to evolve, such requirements remain a moving target. Meanwhile, I trust that what I have decided to do in terms of celibacy is the right decision. The time can be short enough in a lifetime to brood over and recover from incorrect choices in regards to improperly balanced pairs in a relationship. What could have been achieved in the absence of ongoing drama and climatic emotional toil? The gap between dismay and fuller resumption of confident and certain perspective can be wide enough to separate you from many quality moments of insight and sure growth.
Insight Into Successful Close Relationships
The best pairs, in my opinion, are among those to whom years of observation and knowledge of each person’s characteristics and history is known to such a level that one can more fully accept the other. Part of the greatest disappointments in relationships can emerge from things you at first did not know that two of you later learn. Likewise, people do sometimes evolve in separate directions. The changes that time and maturity can sometimes impose can produce their own share of tragedy and lament to the unprepared. Regardless, some are inherently better situated to adapt to such disparity while it may be better for others to attend to patience and prudent selection of thought and action.
I believe family is important as is the creation of families. The relationship between close partners can produce the greatest good for society. Sometimes however, you do find yourself in a circumstance removed from the direct participation in such matters. That may be an occasion to work towards ends generally beneficial to society. When not engaged in the cultivation of families and relationships, how may we be more productive persons in our efforts? One place to start in the area of discipline and the improvement of the mind and soul.
Celibacy is not a Goal
I never really planned to be celibate. It kind of just happened one day. I decided to embrace it and be more wise about feelings. There is much more work I have to do to improve further. Certainly, this is not a goal for all persons but even weeks and months of abstinence may prove worthwhile. For me, it is how I have personally developed over the course of time. Will I always be celibate? I do not know but it is how I am today. Following from this situation, I can see new outcomes. One of my goals for the future is to take this much further to see what may be accomplished when such nature is more greatly harnessed and realized.
Orientation as a Personal Expression
What I have written on this blog is quite personal and revealing. Part of my purpose for disclosing this is to provide insights to familial relations by way of nieces, nephews and others who follow in the future. To know who we were and how we were. You can never know someone entirely based on what they have written or even what they have said. Still, it can be good to know what those who came before has to say about the future.